so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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