Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
