I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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