I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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