umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
