my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
