"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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