A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
