you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
