We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She has the best kind of daddy issues
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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