once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
