woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
