We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
