haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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