I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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