you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
