Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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