Non-Jews are for practice
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
