He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
