he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
