Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
