Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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