I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
