Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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