Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
