Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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