it was like his penis was on wheels.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
