i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
