Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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