farters have to be the big spoon...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
