I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
