Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
