Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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