shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
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