Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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