This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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