It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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