I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
