he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
