I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
