Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
