after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
