She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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