I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Randomize
