Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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