Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
