if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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