It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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