How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
