so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
